Tesco has problems but they are management problems which can be resolved if it can find a management team able enough to erase the long standing failures of the Leahy team which was directly responsible for Tesco’s current woes. Silly as it may seem, it may be best to get a grocer in and sack all the accountants and number crunchers. Once a retailer becomes as big as Tesco, it is the little things which count and it is the little things which they ignore because they have arrived and believe that nobody can knock them off their pedestal.
Marks made the same mistake and Asda and Walmart are following suit. But as far as Asda is concerned there is no Archie Norman in sight, to save them this time round. The worst offender is, believe it or not, Lidl,
Tesco first. Everything I have bought from Tesco has been wrong and should have been returned but I bought them on line, Greece not being blessed with even a Tesco Tiny or whatever the latest name is for its attempts to try and retrieve its lost shoppers. I bought two pairs of Jeans – they were excellent apart from one thing – the button flies. The problem was very simple, the buttons did not match up with the button holes – on either pair. That may be a little mistake but it can have big consequnces standing in some unlit loo on a dark night at the back of a grotty taverna trying to force the metal buttons out of a button hole which is misaligned and a bit too small in any event.
And then there are the underpants. Now M&S underpants in Greece are 25 Euro per pack of three and Tescos seemed a bargain by comparison but again they had the same problem, the flies. The inward fly entrance did not match up with the exit fly so that it was virtually impossible to put the hand in and retrieve the required body part, without twisting it in two. Imagine however if, in addition to the underpants, you were also wearing a pair of the button fly jeans. You had to struggle with buttons to gain access to the underpants and then found it virtually impossible to get through the underpants to access the, by now, urgently needed organ. And all because Tesco had gone ahead and bought no doubt hundreds and thousands of the offending articles without bothering to test the design. They must have been the only superrmarket in Europe trying to palm off underpants which didn’t work. Now their business is crumbling and they can’t understand why. I can.
Part 2 of this thrilling expose will appear tomorrow.
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