Gobbledygook – “language that is meaningless or is made unintelligible by excessive use of technical terms.”
“jargon, unintelligible or obscure language.”
And Halfords is full of it as Chief Executive, Jill McDonald searches for obscure excuses to explain the interim results and make vague meaningless statements about the future. CEOs and Directors have a false belief that the more they hide behind grand sounding gobbledygook the less they can be blamed for weak results or a failure to come up to expectation in the future.
The great give away about jargon is that it is never used if results are good. Then the CEO and Directors suddenly find the ability to express themselves in perfectly good English.
And now for Halfords – in plain English, first.
Cycling sales were “weak” for 2 months in the peak of the summer selling season. In fact they must have been quite bad because the figures are not given.
Group interim profit before tax fell by 5.9% so naturally the interim dividend is increased, although to be fair only by 2.9%.
Halfords promises for the future – in gobbledygook;
“Investing in customer insight capabilities to maximise the lifetime customer value.”
“Embedding the focus on customer service”
“A seamless customer experience – (please what is a seamed customer experience ?)
“Leveraging customer data analysis”
“A fullfilment infrastructure for modern times.”
Is this nearest the Chief Executive can get to expressing herself in her native language. Full year profits are expected to be broadly unchanged – perhaps senior management may be somewhat at a loss as to what their boss expects of them by way of management fulfillment infrastructure.
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